James' Decoy Relationship
by GingerNinja1
Summary: Pursued by irritating exes, James Potter and his best friend's scary twin sister come to an agreement to pretend to be together to fend off unwanted advances. However, soon the line between what is truth and what is fake begins to blur.
1. James Likes Weddings

AN: So I'm back with a new story, this one about James! While you don't _have_ to read Teddy's Story for this to make sense, you'd probably be better off if you did. Half the characters in the first chapter are introduced within it, though only appear sparingly afterwards. If you can't be arsed, just power on through :) - S

**Chapter 1 - James Likes Weddings**

The sun shone brightly over the Burrow, as people bustled about in the garden, numerous Weasley cousins were anxiously ushering guests into seats within the white tent.

Upstairs, witches fretted over hair, make-up, last minute dress adjustments, shoes and a thousand and one other concerns. Downstairs, two twenty four year old wizards, one seventeen year old and one sixteen year old, were quite relaxed in deep purple dress robes. Well, three were.

"Fucking Merlin, I hate these bloody dress robes. I pleaded with you, 'Teddy, lets wear suits, it'll be awesome' but no, some pretty blonde witch bats her eyelashes at you and your all sewn up on stupid shitty dress robes all of a sudden. You have totally and utterly sold-out, bollock face."

James glanced at Teddy, who was grinning ever wider as the tirade came to an end.

Mike Williams had been Teddy Lupin's best (male) friend since they had met on the Hogwarts Express some thirteen years ago. Tall, very well built and with a mouth like a sewer, some variation of this conversation had been going since mid-morning. He appeared to be going through some form of the 5 stages of grief over being forced to wear dress robes, though it did appear that despite progression past bargaining (offering Teddy something akin to a year of his salary) and depression (sitting moodily in the corner, repeatedly asking when the bar opened), he always reverted to some sort of swear-heavy anger.

"Are you done?" Teddy smirked, Mike shook his head in a defeated manner, sighed, then nodded. "I believe we just reached acceptance."

Teddy Lupin himself was the man of the hour. After dating Victoire Weasley for five years, and being in deep denial about his feelings for her long before that, they were ready to tie the knot and it was to be the grandest of occasions. As a Metamorphamagous, Teddy could change his complete appearance at will, but today he was himself, his 'natural' state, with dark eyes and sandy brown hair.

"Ah mate, you've been moaning all morning. Glad you finally got over it." James quipped.

James Potter was the tallest member of the Potter family, overtaking his Dad at age 15 and now stuck somewhere around 6'1" tall. He didn't think he particularly looked like either his Mum or Dad, describing himself more as some sort of vague Potter/Weasley hybrid. His hair was the Weasley red of his Mum and sister, but poked up in that unmistakeable Potter manner that afflicted his Dad and brother. He had thankfully dodged the Potter bad eyesight, and was a more solid build like his Uncle's George and Charlie.

Mike glowered at James, "Sod off, *Jamie*." Teddy, James and Albus gave a feminine 'ooooh' and clutched invisible handbags. "Wankers, the lot of you."

"And here I thought I was the supposed to be the one getting all stressed out on my big day?" Teddy pointed out nonchalantly.

"Yeah, because you're so nervous that Icky Vicky isn't going to show up, despite the fact she's been in love with you since before I was even born!" Al taunted. Teddy thumped him on the arm playfully.

Albus 'Al' Potter was the double of his father, right down to the eyes. Despite a near constant taunting by his elder brother about being sorted into Slytherin, Al had been made a Gryffindor five years previously, along with his cousin Rose, and, perhaps more surprisingly, his now best friend Scorpius Malfoy.

They laughed, and continued with some gentle ribbing of the groom, until there was a knock on the Burrows kitchen door, before opening and three tall heads with black hair who filed in one by one.

"Alright butty! How's it going in here?" Rhoddy Edwards said, announcing his presence in his sing-song Welsh accent. Rhoddy was the eldest of the Edwards siblings, and a former classmate of Teddy and Mike's, the first Slytherin Head Boy since before the War. Tall, broad, with a very Celtic black hair and blue eyes, he was a rather well known socialite within the Wizarding world. The Edwards family were the owners of Holyhead Harpies along with several other large assets and Rhoddy was usually found in the society pages of the Daily Prophet with some glamorous witch or another dangling off his arm.

"Hey Rhod." Teddy said, standing up to shake his friends hand, "Glad you could come mate."

The large Welshman waved at the Potter siblings before turning his eyes to Mike. "Bloody Merlin, what'd you dose Williams with to get him into dress robes? Mikey, alright or what, butt?"

Mike grumbled, but was grinning broadly as he went over to greet his friends as Rhoddy's siblings slipped away from the older Wizards.

"Alright Jimbo, looking sharp mate." said Andy Edwards in his calm, measured tones.

Unlike his older brother, Andy (actually called Anuerin, but always referred to as Andy) was quite skinny and slightly built. He wore rectangular black glasses and kept his black hair into a very short, highly regimented crop. Andy had met James on the train some six years ago, and now with his cousin Freddie was one of James' closest friends. Of the three, Andy was the most measured and calm, who brought 'a hundred generations of family Slytherin cunning, and my own spark of Gryffindor boldness' to the group, and was generally regarded as the true brains of the operation.

James grinned at his friend, and shook his hand, before turning to greet his twin sister, Gwen. James' hand froze mid-air as he realised that she was wearing a *dress*.

Gwenllian 'Gwen' Edwards was also a Gryffindor, and probably James' closet female friend, coming somewhat in a package with Andy. Tall and thin like her brother, with a porcelain complexion and pin straight, long, jet black hair, it was fair to say that Gwen was a rather attractive girl. Until she opened her mouth. Brash, sarcastic and borderline abusive half the time, James had the previous year seen her reduce a Seventh Year Hufflepuff who kept pestering her to tears. Generally regarded as 'one of the boys' by the trio, it was quite odd to see her being in any way feminine, but as she was wearing a strapless dark red dress, this caused a slight malfunction in James' brain.

"Oh for fucks sake Potter, stop staring. Yes it's a dress, yes I have breasts, get over it."

And with the real Gwen returning in force, James was brought back to reality with a bump.

"Ah, Gwenllian, always the charmer." He grinned at her, as she screwed up his use of her full name.

"I do wonder if you boys forget that I'm a girl sometimes. I think Freddie nearly had a heart attack when I said hello." She sighed, sounding rather exasperated with the lot of them, "I should get some female friends."

"And that would last exactly how long before you hexed someone's hair off?" Andy quipped, bopping his sister playfully on the arm. "I for one am glad that none of my reprobate friends actually acknowledge you're a girl."

"I dunno," James said, sliding up to Gwen, "I think I'm seeing you in a whole new light Gwen, dearest."

"Fuck off."

"Or not."

The impending argument was headed off by the appearance of Louis, Victoire's younger brother and Head Usher, who had been wrangling people into chairs.

"Good to see you guys hard at work in here." He said, rolling his eyes, "I believe, Mr Lupin, that it is time."

Teddy let out a breath, and made his way out into the garden, his entourage in tow. James gave Gwen and Andy a little salute goodbye, and followed the rest of the grooms party out into the bright August sunshine.

* * *

><p>The ceremony, even from James' cynical male perspective, had been rather good. Victoire had, of course, looked more than beautiful, with the ethereal glow that seemed to emanate from her when she was around Teddy being particularly bright as she had locked eyes with him as she entered. Uncle Bill looked like he couldn't quite believe what he was doing, walking his daughter down the aisle, while the usually more stoic and tomboy-ish Dominique had looked beautifully elegant in her own dress, and James could have sworn he'd seen her dabbing her eyes. He was even forced to admit that his little sister Lily, the youngest of the bridesmaids, had looked particularly pretty. He and Al would have to keep an eye on her around the boys this evening (and possibly, the rest of the year).<p>

As was typical at Wizarding weddings, after Teddy and Victoire had been bonded for life, the presiding Wizard had transformed the room from the neat rows of the ceremony, to a series of tables for the reception and speeches.

There had finally been proper tears from Dominique as she gushed over the couple, Mike managed to not swear too much whilst recounting some rather embarrassing tales about Teddy and Victoire, and Uncle Bill coerced Teddy into turning his hair red as he officially became part of the Weasley family. His Dad was never one for big speeches and public speaking, but had become quite emotional when speaking of Teddy's absent parents and his hope that he had been an adequate substitute here today. Teddy had been so moved, he had leapt to his feet and embraced him tightly.

As the couple had swayed through their first dance, James had managed to snag a dance with Mike's long-term girlfriend, Chloe, a Muggle with very short choppy black hair. They spoke briefly about the difference between Muggle and Wizarding weddings, and laughed quite heartily at Mike, who was dancing with Dominique in a manner that bare no relation to the tempo or style of music being played, whilst holding a pint of beer in each hand.

As the second song began to pipe up, James headed off in the direction of the bar himself. He found his brother, who, not being one for dancing, had also slunk off in that direction and was talking to a very pretty witch from his year. Not willing to be upstaged by Al, James quickly acquired himself a pint from the magical bar and headed over to introduce himself.

"You old enough to be drinking that?" James said, leering over Al from behind, making him jump slightly.

Al quickly settled himself, giving James a slightly distasteful look. "Yes thanks." He said, then rolled his eyes at his older brother, who was grinning in a lazy manner at his companion. Al sighed in a dejected manner. "Penny Jones, my idiot older brother, James. James, Penny."

James offered his hand to her, and when she placed hers in his, he bowed slightly and kissed it. "A pleasure." He said, smoothly, and Penny giggled.

She was dressed in what James could tell was a very expensive black dress, that hung to her curves in a very flattering manner. Her blonde hair was just past her shoulders, with a gentle wavy curl and behind a pair of designer glasses, she had very deep green eyes.

"Nice to meet you James." She said, in a refined accent, "I cannot believe we have never been introduced, I have been doing Potions with Albus for several years now."

"Really?" James giving his brother a knowing look, "Well, any friend of Al's is a friend of mine. Can I get you a drink, Penny?"

"Oh, that would be lovely!" she said, with a dazzling smile, "You never told me your brother was so charming Albus."

"Like you didn't know that..." Al muttered, but James suspected only he heard as he headed to the magical bar once more, returning with a glass of white wine, handing it to Penny who appeared to be talking rapidly to an increasingly disinterested Albus, who quickly made his excuses and crossed the room to where a slightly irritated Rose Weasley was staring longingly at Teddy, whilst blissfully unaware of the sappy look Scorpius Malfoy was giving her.

James and Penny continued chatting through their drinks, and then over a couple more. James learnt that she was a Slytherin, somewhat of a rarity as she was Muggleborn too. She enjoyed Muggle pop music more than Wizarding, which she found to be archaic, and didn't really read. Other from stated facts, it was plainly clear she was one hell of a flirt, touching James' arm playfully and batting her eyelashes at him in a somewhat sultry manner. Three drinks in, and James was hardly much better himself if he was honest.

"I must go powder my nose." Penny said, placing her hand on James upper arm, then raising up onto her tip-toes to kiss him on the cheek. "Don't go anywhere, handsome."

He watched her go, four inch heels clicking on the floor as she made her way to the bathrooms. He was perfectly aware that he had a very sly grin appearing on his face.

"Seen what you're up too, you dirty Crupp!" came the voice of Freddie Weasley, as he grabbed James from behind and placed him in a headlock.

Freddie Weasley was a month older than James, and this distinction apparently made him in charge. He was shorter than James by several inches, but a much more solid build, with black hair he kept in cornrows for now, but was apparently planning to upgrade to dreadlocks in the future. James was trying to convince him to just wear his hair as a massive afro, but he was yet to be convinced.

James shook him off and turned to greet his cousin, who was accompanied by Andy and Gwen, the latter of whom had a rather sour look on her face.

"Enjoying yourself over here, are you?" Andy said, smirking, "Who's that you've been chatting up for the last hour?"

"Penny Jones." Gwen almost spat, before James could answer, "She's an awful bint from Slytherin."

James frowned slightly, "She seemed alright to me. What's your problem?"

"Oh, I'm sure she's fine to *you* James, but that doesn't stop her from being a stuck-up slag to the rest of us." Gwen retorted, "I'm not sure how that airhead held your attention for so long anyway."

Rising to the bait, James tried a time-tested method to get Gwen to shut up about any girl she didn't like. "Jealous, Edwards?"

Gwen called him something quite unpleasant, while Andy and Freddie rolled their eyes. In nearly seven years of friendship, Gwen still always fell for this tactic.

Before the scene descended into a full on blazing row, the click of heels and an increased level of scowling on Gwen's part indicated that Penny had returned.

"I'm back." She said, running her hand from James' shoulders down to his lower back in a teasing manner and smiled at his friends. "Hello, everybody."

James duly introduced Penny to Freddie, Andy and finally to Gwen, who was polite through gritted teeth.

The conversation didn't flow quite as well after that point. Penny couldn't particularly keep up with the banter which had been honed through years of friendship, and often when she did attempt to break in, she was met with some sort of sarcastic remark from Gwen. It seemed rather like a power-play on her part, stamping her authority as the alpha female of the group.

Freddie eventually broke off from the group when he spotted his sister Roxanne dancing rather closely to a wizard he didn't like the look of, and James was summoned to speak with the bride and groom, leaving a rather awkward looking Penny to stand talking to Gwen and Andy.

* * *

><p>After formally greeting the bride and groom as Mr and Mrs Lupin (which, no matter how many times she had heard it today, appeared to make Victoire glow the brightest James had ever seen her), James had been dragged into a corner for a 'boys drink' with Teddy, Mike and Louis while Victoire was accosted by various gushing female cousins.<p>

"So Jimbo," said a rather drunken Mike, "had my eye on you."

"Yeah, me too." Louis added, apparently not much better himself. "That blonde one, isn't that Stevie Jones' little sister?"

"Definitely is." Teddy said, looking wistful, "Ah Jonesy, he was thick as two short planks but a nice chap none the less; I think Victoire literally carried him through Charms. He's here somewhere, she must have come with him."

James said nothing, feeling a little bit like this was going to lead into an interrogation.

"Silent treatment?" Mike said, "Yep, he's up to no good there, for sure."

Louis grinned, "Good lad. She's quite fit."

"And 16 years old Louis, you pervert." said Teddy, pulling a face.

"Maybe for you old fuckers." Louis retorted. "Maybe she likes an older man. I should give it a crack."

"Shut up Louis." James said, feeling a little bit protective. "She's not like that." All of the older boys pulled a face at him, and James realised they'd tricked him. "Bastards."

"Ah, so he is on it. What's her name then James?" Teddy said, eyes twinkling slightly.

"I'm not talking about this with you three."

"Why not Jimbo?" Mike said, standing up, and flopping down next to James and pulling him into a one armed grapple by his shoulders, "We are wise to the ways of the ladies, and can offer you advice."

James snorted a laugh, pointing to each of them in turn. "Teddy, just got married to a girl who has been in love with him since she could stand up. Mike, dating a girl for the last five years, after having been best friends with her until he left for Hogwarts. Louis, has a Veela ancestor. Come on boys, not exactly a knowledge bank here, the only one of you who isn't in a long-term relationship has a genetic advantage."

They all laughed at him, and Teddy said, shaking his head, "Say's the guy who's surname is *Potter*, so no excuses."

"Penny Jones, she's in Al's year at school, a Slytherin and... well, that's about it, unless you want me to list her favourite bands or something, they're all Muggle ones as she's Muggleborn. Anyway, she's nice."

Teddy and Mike glanced at each other.

"Isn't this a Rhoddy Rule?" Mike asked.

Teddy nodded, "Twelve, I believe. Think we should tell him?"

"Might be for his own good."

Louis and James just stared at the pair of them incredulously as they continued to talk in code to each other about number 3's versus number 8's. James broke their silence first.

"What the fuck are you two on about?"

Teddy and Mike jumped out of their little world.

"Ah, they don't know the Rhoddy Rules. I think these boys need an education, they are important life lessons."

Teddy lent back in his chair, taking a big sip of his beer before speaking. "Rhoddy Rules are sweeping, rather judgemental statements that Rhoddy Edwards makes about women. I can never remember them all, or what the proper numbers are, I think number four is always give a ginger a chance, and I'm fairly certain number seven is never date a girl who'll let you into the, er, most notorious of body cavities on a first shag." That made Louis laugh, and nod an affirmative. "They are based on his rather extensive list of conquests, and very rarely proved wrong. Number twelve is never trust a Muggleborn Slytherin."

James screwed his face up, especially after being taught from a young age that judging someone on their so-called 'blood status' was wrong.

"Don't pull that face, it's not what it sounds like. Rhoddy is as liberal as the rest of us, but the Sorting Hat isn't. Even though it may not be a big deal any more, fact of the matter is Muggleborn Slytherin's are still rarer than rocking horse shit. The part of the hat that allows entry in still prefers those with more 'pure' blood, so by that reasoning, a Muggleborn Slytherin must be, by default, *incredibly* cunning and ambitious."

"This all sounds like bollocks to me." James said.

Teddy shrugged, "Bollocks it may be, so take it with a pinch of salt. Though, Rhoddy Rules are usually quite reliable."

James frowned again, "So, you think I should bin Penny off, even though I just met her, because she's a Muggleborn Slytherin? Whatever Teddy, that's the most retarded thing I've ever head."

"Hey, just be careful dude." Teddy said, sounding rather apologetic as James stood up to go somewhere else, "Sorry man, that probably came over a bit rude. Come on, don't storm off in a mood, I'll buy you a drink."

James laughed, "Good save, big brother. Mine's a pint."

"A man after my own heart."

* * *

><p>As the evening began to wind down, James, buoyed by a little Dutch courage, made a beeline towards Penny.<p>

"Hey." He said, and she smiled at him prettily, "Sorry, got caught up in some family stuff."

"Well, you are an usher James, I didn't expect you to be at my beck and call all evening." She ran her index finger down his arm slowly, squeezing his hand gently when she reached it, "Even if I would have liked you to be."

James was suddenly feeling very confident. "Would you like to take a walk outside? It's a nice night."

"I'd love too." Penny replied, and James took her hand, lacing his fingers through hers and walking towards the exit.

They didn't speak as they made their way outside, making their way past a rather amused looking Scorpius Malfoy who was dancing with his sister Lily, he didn't hear much of their conversation, but caught her saying "...don't worry Scorp, she'll wake up one of these days...". Mike, who had probably drunk as much as the rest of the wedding party put together at this point, had someone else's tie round his head, and was dancing up a storm with several girls, which included Chloe, Gwen and Dominique. James was slightly impressed with his ability to remain upright.

Just as they passed the drawn back flaps which formed the way out of the giant marquee, they passed Freddie, Albus, Andy and an empty bottle of Firewhiskey. They all cheered in a drunken manner as they saw him pass, and Al fell backwards off his chair.

"My brother clearly cannot handle his drink." James said as they stepped into the cool summer evening.

Penny giggled softly and squeezed his hand. "Your brother is such a sweetheart, I swear I'd have failed my OWLs if it wasn't for him."

"It's part of the Potter genetics," James said, spinning round so he was walking backwards in front of her, "saving damsels in distress, it's what we do."

She giggled again, and James twirled her. "It must be pretty amazing, being related to all these big heroes."

James shrugged, "They don't really like to talk about the War, not more than you'll read in a history book anyway. It's 25 years since it finished next year, but it's still pretty personal."

"I guess so." Penny said, putting an arm round his waist and pulling herself close to him, "Still, it's all over now."

"Yeah it is." James replied, "Glad it wasn't me. I don't think I could have done what Dad did."

Penny stopped, and cupped his face with her free hand. "I'm sure you could James. I've seen you around school, you're a pretty amazing guy." She blushed slightly, "It's one of the reasons I begged my brother to bring me tonight, so I could meet you."

"Really?" James asked, somewhat taken aback.

"Yes." She moved closer, releasing her hands and wrapping her arms round his neck. "I've been admiring you from afar, so to speak. You're so popular and everything, it's very attractive to me."

Penny tilted her head up, and placed a kiss on James' lips, starting slowly, then building up into something more intense. It was quite clear she was a very good kisser.

Several minutes passed before they broke apart. Penny was flushed, and her deep red lipstick was a little smeared.

James managed to muster a "Wow" but not much else.

She smiled at him prettily again, "I'm going away tomorrow, on holiday, and I won't be back until the start of school. I hope we can continue this where we left off."

"Sure." James breathed, still rather stunned from the kiss.

Penny leaned in again, to give him a proper goodbye.


	2. James Likes Being A Seventh Year

**Chapter 2 - James Likes Being A Seventh Year**

The first of September appeared rather quickly for James, and he was very much looking forward to seeing Penny again. Ever since their kiss, he'd kept it mostly to himself. Gwen actively disliked her, Teddy and his friends had those stupid Rhoddy Rules, Freddy and Andy had seen him sneak off but were loyal and didn't pester.

The person whose reaction struck him as the most peculiar was Albus. Even though he had been blind drunk, he had seen James and Penny go hand in hand into the garden. The next morning, he'd expected some raging and perhaps a subtle hex for barrelling in and nicking the girl he'd been flirting with. James reasoned that if Albus had been helping her in Potions, a subject he excelled at, he'd probably had eyes on her for a while. However, Al didn't seem that bothered, and was quite frankly looking at James as if he was disappointed in him, rather than furious. It had caused a great deal of confusion for him over the last few weeks, but frankly, he wasn't going to ask Al about it.

As it was, as the Potter family made their way through Kings Cross and towards Platform 9 and 3/4, Al was pestering Lily, who was about to enter her fourth year at Hogwarts, about nothing in particular in an attempt to make the little fireball say or do something to get herself in trouble. James had no idea what had caused the usually quite mild mannered Albus to pick on his sister, but he was having a ball watching him do it. Turns out Al could be very annoying when he wanted to be.

"Quit it Albus!" Lily shrieked, turning round and staring at him. "I know you're doing it on purpose!"

Albus was the picture of innocence, "Doing what?"

"Running your bloody trolley into the back of my legs! You best knock it off, or so help you Merlin when we get on the train."

Further reprisals were quickly doused by their Mum. James suspected that when most people thought of their family, they imagined defeater of Voldemort, Head Auror Harry Potter as a strict disciplinarian who's wrath was feared by his children. They didn't realise that the one they lived in fear of, Dad included, was a pissed off Ginny Potter. One did not annoy her past a certain point unless you wished to find yourself reduced to a terrified, trembling mush, and that was before she got her wand out.

"Lily! Did you just threaten your brother?" She snapped.

Lily, ever defiant, tried to explain, "But Albus -"

"I don't care what he did, you don't threaten your brother and you watch your language." Their Mum then turned a steely gaze on Albus, "As for you, if I *see* you intentionally ramming your trolley into your sister, you'll find yourself in a world of trouble."

"Yes Mum." Albus said, dejectedly, but stuck his tongue out at Lily as soon as their Mum had turned her back.

James rolled his eyes, wondering exactly when he had become the sensible one in this family.

As they made their way onto the steam and smoke of Platform 9 and 3/4 after passing through the magical barrier, it was easy to spot the gaggle of Weasley's, with their Uncles Percy, Ron and George stood with their families. Lily and Albus shot off to speak to their cousins, but hanging back James could see Aunt Hermione appeared to be whispering in an exasperated manner in Uncle Ron's ear as he glowered at Scorpius Malfoy's father, who himself was looking uneasily at where his son was talking in a rapid, excitable manner to Rose.

James grinned, if only the pair of them knew. Though James also suspected that Rose herself was quite blind to the attention the blonde boy paid her currently.

Just before he reached his extended family, a strong hand clapped him on the shoulder.

"James."

He spun, and looked down at his father, the height difference more noticeable when they stood close together like this.

"So, this is it I guess, seventh year. I can't really give you any decent advice as I didn't actually do mine." Dad chuckled to himself, "Suppose I should propose you do something sensible like pass your NEWTs and behave yourself, but I'd feel like a bit of a hypocrite." His face took a serious expression, "I spent seven years of my life battling horrible things so you could lead a normal life, so use it. Muck about in class, sneak out late at night where the worst thing you'll stumble into is Argus Filch, have a painfully awkward date in Madame Puddifoots. Do normal not-quite-grown up things, for me, while you can."

James smiled slightly sadly at his Dad. He had sacrificed his teenage years to make the world a better place, so the last thing James was going to do was disappoint him.

"I'm sure I can manage that Dad." James said, pulling the older man into a hug, "Thanks. For everything."

Harry shrugged, "Just did what anyone else would have done." He looked around slyly for a minute, "Oh, and James. If you happen to be in possession of a piece of parchment that went missing from my desk drawer seven years ago, see that it is passed onto your brother."

James laughed and nodded, his Dad smiling at him with a twinkle in his eyes.

* * *

><p>As the Hogwarts Express started to make headway out of Kings Cross station, steaming north through the suburbs of London and the Home Counties, James relaxed in his usual compartment, legs stretched across the gap between the seats, and boots planted firmly on those opposite. The conversation in the background swirled without him really concentrating; his thoughts were more preoccupied with wavy blonde hair and dark green eyes.<p>

"Seventh Year, eh? Top of the school!" Freddie Weasley said, bouncing in his seat slightly, talking to nobody in particular, "I think I might have to draw up a list of stuff I need to do before the year is out."

"Like study for, and pass, your exams for example?" Gwen remarked sarcastically, from behind a copy of a rather hefty looking volume on Ancient Runes, having latched in with Freddie and James while her brother was in the Prefects meeting.

Freddie made a noise of disgust, "Yeah right, I was thinking more like finally breaking into the girl's dormitories."

"It's the same as the boys, except the opposite way round. How many times do I have to tell you this?" Gwen sighed.

"Yeah right, that's what you *want* us to think! I bet it's full of mysterious lady things." Freddie poked James in the side, "Come on James, back me up on this one."

He snapped out of his daydream with a grunt.

"And welcome back to the world of the living, James Potter." Freddie remarked, rolling his eyes, "Seem a bit preoccupied over there boyo, something on your mind?"

"Er, no." James said, but he could feel his face flushing slightly.

Gwen stared at him curiously, while Freddie smirked. "Girl. It has to be a girl. Who is it then Jimbo?"

"Nobody." James said, but with little conviction. Freddie rolled his eyes.

"I bet it's that tart, Penny Jones." Gwen snapped, looking slightly put out, "You're such a *boy* James."

James made a sour face, "I don't see what your problem with her is. Did she steal your boyfriend or something?"

"No." Gwen stated plainly, with a particularly harsh look. "It's just I can see past the pretty hair, and I can see what she's after."

"And what's that then? Please, enlighten me." James shot back.

"Status. She's always sniffing round the scions of the 'famous families', trying to ingrate herself with them, by any means necessary." Gwen said, with utmost distaste, "Ask your brother, she was apparently trying it on with him all last year. Seems he got all the sense in the Potter family."

James felt his face turn red, and his temper flare, "Don't talk about her like that! You don't even know her!"

"No James, you don't know her." Gwen said, heat rising in her own face, "I'm telling you perfectly reasonably why I don't like her, and you don't want to hear it!"

"Perfectly reasonably! I'd hate to see what unreasonably would sound like!" James was practically shouting now, but before either of them could continue their argument, there was a tentative knock on the compartment door, which slid open softly.

Gwen and James, who had moved closer together as the intensity of their argument had risen and were now almost nose-to-nose, both snapped round, faces flushed, to see who had interrupted them mid-flow. Stood in the doorway with a curious expression on his face, was David (not Dave) Baines, Gwen's on-again, mostly off-again boyfriend.

"Hi Gwen, could I talk to you for a moment?" David asked, not acknowledging the presence of Freddie (who was smirking in the corner), and actively ignoring James, whom he disliked intently.

David (not Dave) Baines was Hufflepuff boy in their year group, whom Gwen had been seeing on and (mostly) off since their 5th Year. He had inoffensive brown hair, inoffensive brown eyes and an inoffensive face, which James would have greatly enjoyed to punch in a very offensive manner. While he appeared at first to be the epitome of politeness and good manners, after sometime dealing with him, James found him acting in an increasingly passive-aggressive manner and getting paranoid, especially towards him. David (not Dave) was often found accusing Gwen of flirting with someone else, cheating on him or other such nonsense, which usually led to their on-again relationship becoming off quite rapidly. He held particular contempt for James (often the source of such accusations), though this likely stemmed from his utter refusal to call him 'David' and after a rather nasty rant at Gwen, calling him a "fucking arsefaced shitbag" in front of the entire Great Hall.

Gwen sighed. "What do you want, David?"

"I'd like to speak to you in private, if that is OK?" He replied, eyeing James uneasily.

"Just pretend like we're not here Davey-boy..." James said off-handily, whilst maintaining what he liked to imagine as a menacing stare on the boy.

"My name -" David started, but was cut off by Gwen, who glared at James and jumped out of her seat and left with David into the connecting corridor, slamming the compartment door as she left.

James sat in his seat, burning a hole in the closed door with his eyes, before slumping back into his previous relaxed position, crossing his arms defiantly across his chest.

"You know," he started, hardly masking his contempt, "I never knew what she saw in that fuck-head in the first place."

Freddie Weasley rolled his eyes in a manner so large it was almost audible. "I get that you don't like him James, and quite frankly, I'm sure the feeling is mutual, but you don't have to get in a sulk every time him and Gwen get back together. People will think you're jealous."

James scoffed at the suggestion. "Yeah right, like I'd be jealous of that twat."

"I meant about Gwen, not him, dickhead."

Freddie cocked an eyebrow at James, who smirked back at the implication. The laughter started as a snort, and ended in wild hysterics, which had James wiping tears from his eyes.

"Yeah right, could you imagine?" James said, between laughs, "I think that'd last about 3 hours before one of us killed the other!"

"I dunno," Freddie replied, shaking his head, "maybe all that passion you two have could be channelled into more useful activities rather than yelling..."

He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, and the pair of them burst out laughing once more.

The door to the compartment slid open once more, and Andy Edwards stood there with an amused look on his face.

"Something funny in here, is it?"

The cousins were still smiling, but managed to calm themselves down enough to speak. Freddie Weasley had a particularly sly look on his face.

"Very funny indeed. How's about this then..." He pointed at James with an amused look, "The prospect of one James Sirius Potter dating, well, the lovely Miss Gwenillian Bethan Edwards!"

Andy pulled a repulsed looking face. "Eurgh, that's my sister you're talking about. And I know where Potter's been!"

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Andy."

Andy rolled his eyes, "No offense butt, but she'd have your guts for garters within a week." He grinned, "Just looking out for your best interests, aren't I?"

* * *

><p>Gwen returned sometime later, rather red in the face and with a distinctly pissed off air about her. When Andy, cautious through years of practice dealing with his sisters explosive temper, prodded for more information, she simply reverted to calling David Baines some of the most heinous words in the English language.<p>

While it was difficult to pin down exactly what had occurred between the two of them, the impression was that whatever it was had been the straw that broke the camels back. James, with some relief and a suppressed grin, suspected that they would not be getting back together any time soon.

As the Hogwarts Express trundled north, past Yorkshire, toward Northumbria and the Scottish border, the compartment of Seventh Years had settled into a competitive silence as a particularly hardcore game of exploding snap had broken out; all talking was a distraction that could lead to defeat.

It was somewhat unfortunate therefore that as Gwen turned a card and added it to the pile in the centre of the compartment, there was a delicate wrap on the door, causing just distraction enough for the pile of cards to flicker dangerously before exploding and removing the majority of Andy's eyebrows, and causing a slightly singeing to Freddie Weasley's hair.

The door slid open confidently, despite the explosion, and Penny Jones stood in the doorway, beaming at James.

"Hope I'm not interrupting?" she asked, looking curiously as Freddie batted his hair in an attempt to forestall any sort of fire.

"No, not at all." James said, getting up to hug her, abandoning his cards. Penny gripped him tightly and sighed into his neck. "Missed you."

"Missed you too, it's good to be back."

They stood there holding each other for a while longer, until there was a cough from behind him. James spun to see Gwen glaring at him, whilst Freddie was holding two sets of cards, eyebrow (unsinged) cocked questioningly.

"Er, deal me out of the next round guys." James said, grabbing Penny by the hand and sliding the compartment door shut behind him. Before it clicked home, there was a cough that sounded distinctly like someone saying 'wanker' in a feminine Welsh accent.

James led Penny in silence to the vestibule end of the carriage, well away from the prying eyes of his friends compartment. When there, he wrapped his arms around her waist again, and leant against the wall as she wrapped hers round his neck.

"So, how was your holiday?" James asked, cringing at his own awkward tone.

Penny smiled her pretty smile and shrugged, shaking her head dismissively, making James chuckle.

"That interesting?"

She sighed, reaching onto her tip-toes and kissed him lightly on the lips, "Missed that mostly."

"Me too." James smiled, before they fell into a rather awkward silence.

Penny looked thoughtful for a moment, before speaking. "So, I heard your friend Gwen yelling at David Baines."

"Yeah, apparently they've broken up, *again*. Or he tried to get back with her, cocked it up and made her yell at him." James said, sour expression crossing his face again. "He's a wanker anyway."

"He said something similar about you." Penny smiled, but it wasn't entirely sincere. "Apparently he doesn't like the way you look at Gwen, or treat her."

James felt himself go red, but managed to restrain his mothers Weasley temper. He hissed out a response through gritted teeth. "How *I* treat her? That fucking prick, I'm gonna hex him into the next decade."

Penny removed one of her arms from his neck, and placed a restraining hand on his upper arm. "Don't worry about him, it's not really your business, is it?" James frowned slightly, "I mean, I think Gwen can look after herself. She *did* tell him never to speak to her again, or she'd hex his 'bits' off."

That remark made James smile, mostly because he knew that Gwen would never have referred to them as his 'bits'.

"I think he thinks you fancy her." Penny stated, before looking at James earnestly, "You don't, do you?"

James laughed, "Funnily enough, you're the second person to say that today. Emphatically, no." He smiled at Penny, who was still looking a little timid, "I like you."

Penny beamed at him, and essentially dived on him, crushing her lips onto his once more.

* * *

><p>They didn't really talk much, mostly as there were better things to be getting on with, but also because every time James cracked a joke or made a comment that would usually provoke conversation, Penny shrugged it off with relative ease, returning back to an activity she was apparently more comfortable with.<p>

When they eventually parted, it was only because they had found themselves surrounded by a group of heavily made-up girls who appeared to be Penny's 'entourage'. There was a great deal of giggling, and eventually they made moves to drag Penny away.

"Duty calls..." She said, somewhat dryly, rolling her eyes.

James caught her hand before she left, smiling.

"So, how about me and you, first Hogsmeade weekend of the year?" he asked.

Penny beamed, "Well, I was hoping to see you before then, but I suppose I can fit you in."

"I'm sure we can make time." He kissed her on the cheek as a goodbye, as the giggling brigade of 4th, 5th and 6th years disappeared.

James started to make his way back to his own compartment, but spotting his brother, cousin and Scorpius Malfoy sat together a compartment, he decided to drop in and say hello.

He rapped on the door with his knuckles, before sliding it open with a grin.

"Alright chaps and chap-ess, how goes it?"

There was a wave of greetings, and James pushed the door shut behind him, sitting down beside Albus who was giving him an odd look.

"Did I hear your friend Gwen yelling earlier?" Scorpius asked. "Well, actually, I know it was her. It was the Welsh accent and the swearing."

James chuckled, "Yeah, that was her. Think Dave Baines is starting to get the message that he's a tosspot and should go take a long walk off a short pier."

"He doesn't like you very much, does he?" Albus added, "He made some quite nasty cracks about you, but Rose wouldn't let me and Scorp go give him a kicking."

Rose sighed and rolled her eyes. "I'm sure James doesn't need you two hot-heads looking after him. Anyway, you'd have gotten in trouble, and Gwen took care of that misogynistic git anyway."

"It was fantastic!" Scorpius exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear, "No word of a lie, she threatened to transfigure his cock off!"

James smirked at the blonde boy, "Sounds like someone has got a crush Scorp... Shall I go tell Gwen you fancy her?"

Scorpius blanched, "What? No. Of course I don't, don't be stupid."

"Oh yeah?" James replied, eyes flicking obviously from Scorpius to Rose, "Got your eye on someone else have you?"

It didn't seem possible for the boy to turn paler, but he did, spluttering over a rebuttal.

Albus was ready to jump in to save his friend however, "Yeah, like you can talk James. Hey Rose, guess who James has been mooning over all summer... Only Penny Jones."

All three of the sixth years pulled sour faces, Rose's the worst. "Oh James, you don't do you? She's awful."

"I don't understand what peoples problem is, she's perfectly nice to me." James said, pulling his own sour face.

"Oh, she'll be perfectly nice to *you*." Rose said, "Just like she was perfectly nice to Albus, to Scorpius, and to every other boy who's family is in any way famous."

James frowned, "What do you mean?"

Rosie sighed dramatically, "You're either very dense, or she's got much better at it." She looked at him seriously, "You must have noticed that she's constantly asking about your Mum and Dad!"

"She doesn't." James said flatly, "In fact, we've only talked about that sort of stuff once."

Rose hummed, clearly not agree. "What do you talk about then?"

"Er," James hesitated, "well. Stuff - yeah, lots of stuff!"

"Sounds like a real meeting of the minds." Rose replied, dryly. "Just bear it in mind James, I don't think you know her as well as you think you do."

James said nothing, but rolled his eyes in an exaggerated manner.


	3. James Likes Penny Jones

**Chapter 3 - James likes Penny Jones**

James was reluctantly beginning to believe his friends and cousins might have been on to something.

It had started slow, when the two of them met in deserted classrooms and assorted broom closets, or when they sat in the bright September sunshine during the day; Penny would mention something she had read in the Daily Prophet about a member of his family. James had ignored it at first, brushing it off and imagining himself becoming paranoid, but Penny became increasingly persistent, clamouring for details of his families lives, and dropping endless hints that she would like to be introduced to them.

She also seemed to be actively attempting to make him withdraw *from* his Hogwarts-bound friends and family (who hated her), suggesting that they spend increasing amounts of time together. While James could imagine that with the right person, he could easily shut himself away from the world and just forget everybody else, it was plainly obvious that Penny was not this person. She had no interest in anything other than wizarding society gossip (and Muggle society gossip, which was apparently even more contrived) and this made her painfully difficult to speak to for any length of time.

As September slid into October, James was fed up, and his initial enthusiasm for the relationship had withered such that he was currently hiding in the Seventh Year boys room with his friends, doing his homework.

"I still don't see how it's fair," Freddie said, flicking his wand over his Potions essay, correcting numerous spelling mistakes, "that you are allowed in here, yet we aren't allowed in your room."

Gwen rolled her eyes, having heard this argument a thousand times. "It's because we are more trustworthy than you are."

James, who was sprawled out on the floor next to her, coughed in a way that sounded suspiciously like 'bollocks'.

"Something to add Potter?" she said, cocking a thin eyebrow at him, "Because I can always do my Runes homework somewhere you can't see it."

"Didn't say a word," James said, giving her a lop-sided grin, "reckon you must be hearing things."

Gwen smiled back, "That's what I thought."

They worked in silence for a couple of moments, before Freddie, who seemed to get twitchy in a quiet environment, suddenly spoke up.

"So when are you going to ditch Penny then?"

James pushed himself up onto his knees, attempting to look shocked. "Who said anything about me dumping her?"

Andy snorted a laugh from the corner, "Nobody needs to say anything butty. The fact you're in here actually doing your Runes homework rather than out copping a feel speaks for it's bloody self."

James pretended to look aggrieved by such a remark, but couldn't, instead letting out a sigh. "Look, I know you're all gonna say 'told you so' but, yeah, she's a pain in the arse and clearly trying to weasel into the Weasley's."

Gwen rolled onto her back, placing both hands behind her head with a very smug look plastered all over her face. "Told you so."

"Funny..." Was all the response James could muster. Gwen's actions had caused her top to ride up slightly, exposing a small strip of pale white, flat stomach which caused him momentary distraction. He shook his head trying to rid himself of thoughts like that. He was clearly getting desperate to escape Penny if he was finding *Gwen* attractive.

A ball of parchment bounced off his head.

"Alright over there mate?" Freddie asked. Gwen was looking at him curiously.

James felt his face heat up. "Yeah - yeah sorry, I was miles away."

"I said," Freddie continued, clearly not noticing something odd had happened, "what are you going to do about her? You can't really keep leading her on."

"Well, I've been thinking I'll give it up until the Hogsmeade weekend. If it all goes to hell then, I'll improvise."

"Improvise?" Andy asked.

"You know, make up some excuse." James said flippantly, "I can't very well say 'sorry Penny, you're dumped because I find you vapid and sycophantic.' I do have some tact."

"Yeah, you better not say that." Gwen said, rolling back onto her front, before adding dryly, "She won't know what those words mean."

James couldn't help but burst out laughing.

* * *

><p>Hogsmeade was only two weeks away, and it approached quickly. James found a whole host of excuses to avoid Penny, though mostly by claiming his 7th Year workload was far larger than it really was. This excuse meant that he did actually spend more time than usual doing work, holed up in the Gryffindor common room rather than the Library (which he claimed was too busy).<p>

James shared three classes with Freddie and Andy, but all his classes with Gwen, so as a product of this increased 'enthusiasm' for work, the two of them were spending a lot more time together. Without Freddie or Andy to mediate, their combined argumentative natures meant they spent a majority of their time bickering, but rather than ending with either of them murdering the other, it had evolved to become rather good natured, a change in dynamic clearly neither of them had expected.

This further showed James the cracks in his relationship with Penny. While he and Gwen (who were just friends) could talk about practically anything, discuss, debate and joke with each other, his conversations with his girlfriend were stilted, full of awkward silences and seemed to be wholly unproductive.

Come the morning of Hogsmeade, James had made his decision and was going to break up with Penny today. The weather reflected his mood, as it sleeted gently outside as he trudged into the Gryffindor common room from his bedroom, thinking of some sort of scheme for how to tell her that he didn't want to be with her anymore.

"Alright over there, Potter?"

James snapped round, jumping out of his own thoughts and saw a very amused looking Gwen leant on one of the sofas, arms folded across her chest.

She was not wearing her usual scruffy jeans and t-shirt combination, but rather had a thigh length denim skirt, black leggings and brown boots that came to almost her knees, with a puffy jacket and a bobble hat. She also appeared to be wearing slightly more make-up than usual, and to James' mind, looked very pretty.

"Nice hat." James said, with a grin, as she came to join him at the portrait hole. "Someone's dressed up, hot date?"

Gwen smirked, "Yes actually, apparently some boys in this school have noticed I'm a girl."

"Hey I know you're a girl, I'm just out of your league..." James joked, nudging her in the side with his elbow. She smacked him on the arm.

"Like hell. More my standards don't go low enough for the likes of you."

"You cut me deep." James said, clutching his heart in mock offense, "So, anyone I know?"

Gwen smiled sweetly at him. "Why so curious Potter? Jealous?" She said, turning his own words back on him.

"I already told you I'm out of your league. I mean you dated that knob jockey Dave Baines, and he's barely even human." James grinned, "Actually, that's offensive to transhumans, I don't think anyone would want that wanker as part of their species."

"Hey, he was a man of many talents." Gwen said with a smirk and a knowing look.

James feigned vomiting, "I don't want to know about your sex life. *Especially* with Baines the ballbag."

"Yeah right, you think I'd put-out for him? You're so easy to wind up."

"Dunno, you are kinda slutty."

Gwen punched him in the arm hard as Andy and Freddie appeared round the corner with a wave.

James smiled sheepishly at her, rubbing his arm as they approached, Gwen just smirked at him defiantly in return.

"Alright, or what?" Andy asked, looking between the two of them before addressing Gwen specifically, "Ready to go?"

Gwen nodded as James looked at her, highly amused. As the three of them made motions to leave, he leaned in and whispered in her ear, "Hot date, my arse."

She turned, and her face was incredibly close to his own, icy blue eyes dancing with mischief, "I dunno, Freddie is quite cute." James felt his jaw drop, and Gwen patted him in the cheek. "Have fun in Hogsmeade."

James watched her leave, mouth still slightly agape.

It took him several minutes to set himself straight before heading down towards the Entrance Hall to meet Penny.

* * *

><p>"..and apparently they've broken up now because he was cheating on her, which is so like him. I mean, he said he'd changed when he came out of rehab, but he clearly hasn't..."<p>

"Uh-huh." James replied, not really following Penny's rather inane chatter. They had made it as far as the village and his contribution to the conversation was in single digits so far. He was currently making a list in his head about things he'd rather be doing right now, tuning her out.

Penny clung tightly to his arm with both hands, it was a possessive gesture and she made a point of showing him off to her friends as they passed, who usually exploded in squeals and giggles. James had been brought up in an environment of women who were tough war heroes and ardent feminists, so squealing and giggling were very high up in the list of things that annoyed him.

"James?"

He was shaken out of his own thoughts by Penny, who had stopped and was looking at him with doe-like eyes, seemingly pleading.

"I just asked if you wanted to go to Honeydukes or your Uncle's shop first?"

"Oh, er, probably Honeydukes." He said, then having a sudden thought, to test what were already murky waters. "I don't really fancy going into Zonkos, it's always jammed and Freddie can get stuff from Uncle George any time."

Penny frowned, "But I thought it would be nice to introduce me to your family properly."

James didn't bite, "Yeah, not today. I can't be doing with all the little third years running round."

Penny fell silent as they walked towards the sweet shop. Their conversations from that point were even more forced and stunted, and James was beginning to suspect that she knew what was coming.

They left the sweet shop and made their way towards the Post Office, as Penny needed to send a letter to her parents.

"What's going on over there?" Penny pointed to the other side of the road. David Baines appeared for all intents and purposes, to be begging Gwen to get back with him, and from the look on Gwen's face and the way her hand kept twitching towards her wand, James suspected Dave was a couple of minutes away from getting his balls hexed off.

James grinned, "Looks like someone doesn't know it's over."

"I've got some friends in Hufflepuff, they say David isn't so bad." Penny replied, looking earnest.

James' smile turned into a scowl, "Believe me, he's a prick. Nobody I know likes him."

"Oh." was Penny's only reply.

They entered the Post Office in silence and James stood by the window as Penny queued to use an owl, gazing out at the continuing ruckus. Dave Baines was no longer pleading with Gwen and they appeared to be yelling at one another again. James fleetingly wondered where Andy and Freddie had run off too, leaving her to deal with Baines on her own.

As James watched, the Hufflepuff boy took a step forward so he was almost nose-to-nose with Gwen. She slapped him hard round the face and made to walk away. Baines made to grab her wrist but Gwen wrenched it away violently. James felt his hand twitch unconsciously towards his wand.

A warm hand pressed against the small of his back. "Are they still going at it?" Penny asked, as James didn't look away from the drama outside.

"Yeah," James replied, "I've got a good mind to go out there and hoik him up by his ankles."

"Oh." Penny said again, sensing his lack of interest in her once more, "Maybe we should go to the Three Broomsticks."

James grunted in a non-committal way. Penny tried to grab his hand, but he quickly stuffed it into his pocket.

As they stepped outside into the bracing cold, he just couldn't hold his intentions in much longer. Stopping on the pavement, turning to Penny and looking down at his shoes. When he looked up again, his face (he hoped) was masked from all emotion.

"Penny, look," he said, hoping he was sounding sincere, "I don't think it's going to work out between us."

Her face cycled through several emotions, starting with shocked and finishing on upset, tears welling in her pretty green eyes.

"Why?" she asked, pleading slightly.

"Because... er." James hesitated, looking away to think of an excuse. His gaze fell back onto Gwen, who, with an small flick of her wand, launched David Baines 6 feet in the air, and then clattering back down to earth in the gutter. Without really thinking and almost on reflex his mouth finished his sentence for him, "because - because I like somebody else. It's not fair on you."

"Oh." Penny said, with a small voice. A single tear had rolled down her cheek. James' insides squirmed with guilt over her emotional reaction, but knew it was better to end it now than to let the charade play out any longer.

James scuffed his foot on the floor awkwardly, not really sure what to say.

"I'm sorry." He finally mustered, patting her on the shoulder awkwardly before turning and walking away.

* * *

><p>"Are you drinking alone?"<p>

Albus' voice punctured James' brooding stare into the bottom of his pint glass. James glanced up at him.

"Rumour has it."

Albus sighed, kicking out the chair opposite, and flopping down.

"What's up then?"

James sighed dramatically. "Broke up with Penny."

"Good." Albus said, and James' head snapped up at him as this was not the response he was expecting, "What? You want me to be upset about it? You can do much better mate."

"I.. well." James picked up his drink and took a sip, "I actually don't know what I'm upset about. Or annoyed. Or for that fact if I'm upset or annoyed, or what."

Albus snorted a laugh, "You rarely make sense, but that was just incomprehensible."

"Look, I'm actually not that bothered about ditching her." James said, speaking to himself as much as Albus, "I just feel a bit bad about the way I did it..." Albus cocked an eyebrow, "May have told her I fancy someone else."

"Good work, brains." Albus said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "She's not the brightest Galleon in Gringotts, but it's not going to take a great deal of reasoning to work out that's total bollocks."

"Obviously."

"Made your bed mate. Maybe you should just hook up with some girl and hope she falls for it."

James pulled a sour face, "Yes, because just hooking up with some random girl worked out so well this time. Your plans are as shit as mine."

"Hey, I don't claim to be the brains in this family. That's Rose's department."

James glanced around the pub, looking for his cousin. "Speaking of whom, where on earth is she?"

"With His Malfoy-ness, looking at books." Albus sighed, "Proper pair of little bookworms those too, should never have let them go in the bookshop together."

"Bookshop... yeah right." James snorted, "More like snogging up the Shrieking Shack."

"Eurgh, don't say things like that," said Albus pulled a disgusted face. "Wait, you're not serious are you?"

"You really need to get those glasses checked mate. Your blondie best mate has been drooling over Rose since Fourth Year."

Albus' face blanched and he sunk lower into his chair, saying nothing.

James, feeling much better all of a sudden, stood up and patted his little brother on the shoulder.

"You let that sink in for a moment while I go to the bar to get you a much needed drink."

Albus nodded weakly as James headed in the direction of the bar.

* * *

><p>"Ah, that's where you are."<p>

James looked round from his seat to see Gwen, arms crossed over her chest, and Andy, scratching the back of his head with an amused look on his face.

"Had a couple to drink have we boys?" she said, gesturing to the table which was littered with empty pint glasses.

James looked as his brother, who was slightly glassy eyed and grinned, before gesturing theatrically and saying, "What on *earth* gave you that impression! Not been drinking, have we Al?"

"Of course not, it would be very ir - ireri - eary - bad. It'd be bad." He said, and let out a drunken cackle of a laugh.

"I think maybe," Andy said, in his best Prefect voice, "that you two should let us take you back to Gryffindor Tower before one of the Professors busts you and we lose 100 house points."

"I'm fine, I can handle my dr-" Albus said loftily, making a large sweeping gesture and promptly sliding sideways off his chair.

"Course you can butt." Andy said, with a grimace, grabbing Albus' hand and tugging him upright before looking at James. "You able to stand?"

"I can." James said, jumping up but swaying slightly as the blood rushed to his head. "Yeah, maybe I should head back."

Andy dragged Albus into a standing position and supported him round the waist. "I'll carry this idiot back. You can walk."

James walked the table to where Gwen was standing, arms still folded and a smirk on her face. "Gwenillian, dearest, escort me to my bedchamber?"

He stuck out an arm for her to take. Gwen rolled her eyes and looped her arm through his.

"Literally the worst chat-up line I have ever heard Potter."

"You said your standards don't go low enough for me so you don't get the good material."

Gwen snorted a laugh, "Yeah right, like you've got good material."

"I have very good material, I'll have you know." James said snootily, before swaying slightly. Gwen laughed and pulled him back in the proper direction.

"This is going to be a long walk back if you keep veering off." She said, before falling thoughtfully silent.

They exited the pub and walked through the slush back towards the Hogwarts gate, the cold air increasing James' head rush.

"So what prompted the binge drinking?" Gwen asked. James groaned.

"Guilt, I suppose. Broke up with Penny today, and may have told her I fancied someone else."

"A brilliantly terrible excuse, I must say." Gwen said, though managing to sound brightly happy, "Today was clearly a shitty day for romance."

James let Gwen's arm go and wheeled round so he was facing her.

"Let me just say," he started, placing both hands on her upper arms, "that watching you launch Baines into the gutter will forever be one of the highlights of my life. It was a thing of true beauty."

Gwen laughed and shrugged him off, linking her arm back through his again as they continued to walk back towards the Hogwarts gates. "Your hyperbole knows no bounds. He's a fucking idiot, and I wish he'd stay away from me."

"What you need is a boyfriend to scare him off." James said poking her in the arm with his free hand.

"Really?" Gwen said, somewhat incredulously, "Need some big strong man to scare him off, do I?"

James rolled his eyes, "Not like that, everybody knows you can take care of yourself. You sure scare the shit out of me, that's for sure." He chuckled to himself, "What I meant is that while you're single, he's gonna keep trying it on. He's been persistent for the last two years, if nothing else."

"How, may I ask, did you come to this conclusion?"

"Drunken logic." James said, tapping the side of his head, "The best logic."

"You're barmy, but you may well be onto something." Gwen laughed, "You should do the same, that'll keep Penny away from you and cover up your bullshit excuse."

"What, get a boyfriend?"

"That'll certainly keep her away."

They both laughed and continued back towards Hogwarts, talking casually. Gwen seemed highly amused by James' drunken motor mouth, which only spurred him on further.

"You're actually quite funny when you're drunk." She said, as the Fat Lady swung open to allow them entrance into Gryffindor Tower.

"I am always funny, my dear." James said, sticking his arm out for Gwen to take again.

She cocked an eyebrow at him. "I'm fairly sure I don't need to escort you up to your room, James."

"Ah, but you know you want too." James said, with a wolfish grin, "Plus, think of the rumours!"

Gwen rolled her eyes and took his arm, as they headed up the boys stairs together, clearly not caring about cheap Hogwarts gossip.

"I do believe," James stated as he pushed open the door to the dormitory, "this makes you the first girl I have successfully managed to talk into coming up to my room with me."

"I'm fairly sure that's not true."

"One hundred percent fact, dearest." James said, letting go of Gwen's arm and taking a running leap at his bed.

Not quite judging the momentum correctly, he hit it with a bounce and flew off the other side, landing on the floor in a heap. When he re-emerged, slightly red in the face, Gwen had one hand on her hip, the other covering her face, laughing so hard there were tears in her eyes.

James noted that Gwen didn't giggle, she laughed properly. It was a nice laugh.

He clambered up back into his bed, and lay there before reaching out with his arms.

"Hug?"

Gwen, still laughing, looked at him sceptically. "Really pushing your luck today, aren't you?"

"Hey, 'don't ask, don't get' is my motto."

James wasn't sure if it was the blasé manner he asked, or if his pints had been spiked with Felix Felicis, but Gwen walked over to his bed and hugged him.

"Goodnight James." She said, wrapping her arms round his neck, her long black hair falling round his face.

James squeezed her, then, because it popped into his head and he was quite drunk, said, "Your hair smells nice."

She released him, smiling strangely, and then in a most uncharacteristic gesture, kissed his forehead before leaving the room and pulling the door shut after her.


End file.
